day and i, in competition ran

I am really really terrible at saying what I really mean. I’m also terrible about updating my...

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 13:45:05 -0400

I am really really terrible at saying what I really mean. I’m also terrible about updating my Internet.

Photo

Mon, 25 May 2009 20:09:28 -0400

Photo

Sat, 16 May 2009 15:04:22 -0400

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Thu, 07 May 2009 17:42:26 -0400

sunrise to sunset, you’re either coming or you just left; but your always on the way.

tonight, your ghost will ask my ghost, where is the love?

Sat, 02 May 2009 20:22:20 -0400

5= fucking insanity. 8 and the following, i’m really sorry about all that. if 11 had been my lucky number maybe it would have changed things. numerically, 19 no longer holds the same appeal as it once did.

as for 14, (i never really loved you.)

17 is a mystery. it was so easy to lie, 10; 23; 7; 2. too bad heaven isn’t spelled with just 3 letters.

its a big, big (22) world.

and so it goes, i guess.

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:00:55 -0400

Long Island Press > News Motorcyclist Killed in St. James Crash Posted: 4/20/2009 - 10:17:36 AM

A Port Jefferson Station man was killed in a motorcycle crash in Saint James on Sunday, April 19, Suffolk Police say.

Serkan Senal, 30, was riding a Suzuki motorcycle eastbound on Route 25 when the motorcycle struck a Jeep that was being driven northbound by Valerie Campbell, 19, of Nesconset, at the intersection of Cambon Place at about 1:55 p.m., according to Fourth Squad detectives.

Senal and Campbell were both taken to Stony Brook University Medical Center where Senal was pronounced dead 25 minutes later, police say. Campbell was treated and released.

i'm not going to miss it.

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 01:56:00 -0400

the day of departure from the east coast is looooming and i can’t fucking wait.

so, i got this email from this girl. whom i like, barely know. we’ve shared a few laughs and a few drinks and some (inthepast) mutual friends. for one, tiny simple, innocent thing i asked from her, i get this long winded completely irrational response back. it made me embarrassed for her. that someone can really still be so god damn stupid and petty at 24 years old.

now, i don’t know this girl. nor do i want to know her, or nor do i really give a flipping shit about what she thinks of me or has to say to me, or about me..[lets be honest for a second; i’ve lived in the hellhole corner of the universe we americans so politely label, “the suburbs”, and i know there isn’t anything else to do but try and make everyone elses lives as miserable as your puny existence is.] and i know that she probably immediately texted half of the phonebook in her blackberry to complain about what a bitch i am, or some dumb shit.

why do i even bother mentioning this? maybe its because its so irritating. and how i am so tired of how small and secluded and outright infectious the place i grew up in is.

like, for real! throughout my time and my journeys i’ve met many a kinder breed. i think that long island is a hotbed for fuckups and losers. it is such a poisonous place- it is stifling- the thought of returning there, even for a short visit, makes me want to vomit in my mouth.

in other news, i am also sick of brooklyn and my neighborhood smells like shit, like literal shit, and i think that it made my brain fall out.

due to my lack of a cerebral cortex at this time i cannot be held responsible for the heavy drinking and absolutely irrational decisions that have been taking place in my life for the past week.

note to self:

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:47:42 -0400

run run run run run

gooooo!

and, you knowwwwwww...

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:59:59 -0400

i wanna make deserttt magicccc with youuuuuu<3

countdown! t minus 2 months. dear austin, don’t let me...

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 04:14:22 -0400

countdown! t minus 2 months. dear austin, don’t let me down.

ffffff

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 02:45:30 -0400

uck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuckitfucki fuckitttttt fuckitfuckiitfuckiti fuckit fucki it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuxck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckit fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuckitfuckitifuck it fuck itfuckiti fuck it fuckitttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. lov e it!

*^&@#^@#$)(@

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 21:54:27 -0400

scene: rainy tuesday, brooklyn dive bar, slightly buzzed. i leave for the vestibule to smoke a cigarette when the bartender follows suit. we make small talk, and she asks me if she can see the backs of my hands. i agree, not knowing what a mindfuck was going to occur in my life. so she starts telling me that she can “read people’s hands”. (???) it starts with the usual; i’m a strong person, so on and so forth, i feel like thats an easy safe bet when it comes to my demeanor. i figure that’ll be it, and plan on resuming my night.

but no. she goes on to tell me that she has a message for me. i’m into it at this point, because really, i feel like thats something i need. message? direction? fucking please. she starts talking about a spiral form thats “surrounding” me- i think double helix? what could that mean? and it CLICKS- out of nowhere- home at last. all of these thoughts are swirling around in my brain as she continues-i have an electricity that surrounds me; people feel drawn to me immediately. and its because i have a gift to give people- to help them bring out the best in their selves. she sees a child in my future- no MY child, persay- but a little boy who needs me.

its fucking insane how these things in your life totally come full circle. had there been any hesitation before, its been replaced with full on lets get this shit started.

psyched!

rip nyc

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:14:03 -0400

i’m tired of living in new york. its extremely discouraging to be barely scraping by on the backs of everyone else’s broken dreams. and for a place that i could never call home, only a wasteland.

i want it!

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:04:06 -0400

i want it!

suburbia

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:16:31 -0400

so, i’m not so much a fan of the internet, but will never pass up an oppurtunity to talk about myself. whee! now lets get down to business.

at the tender age of 14, when deadjournal.com was totally the coolest thing on earth, i had one! i usually just posted about the interesting things that can occur in a 14 year olds life in the suburbs. now i’m older and obviously have wayyyy cooler things to talk about.

like today! i went to the car wash and got that baby washed for the first time ever! well, by someone other than me armed with a bucket and a sponge, that is. so i’m standing there in the rain thinking of the cohesivness of water and waiting for this dude to finish applying some unknown green liquid with a paintbrush on my tires and suddenly bam! he says, your car is done. so i rejoice in normal fashion and get back in, marveling at what a little vacuum action can do to uplift your soul. as i’m adjusting my seat back to proper driving stature, the passenger side door opens and he GETS IN MY CAR! so i’m all like, whoa! hey! he starts talking realllllly fast in some foreign spanish dialect while motioning like he’s talking on the phone. ha! i tell him lo siento, i’m married buddy. he shakes my hand and gets out. and he didn’t even slam the door! what a day!